This Christmas, give your wife a gift she will really appreciate......sign yourself up for several of these classes!!!
Winter Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by January 10, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM !
Class 1: How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? ..Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3: Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5: Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6: Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7: Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8: Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.... Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9: Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10: Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11: Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion With Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14: The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used - Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Alayna Update
For those of you who cannot access Kendra & Jeff's Blog.........Alayna is going home today. Turns out that she had acid reflux!! I'd never even heard of a baby having acid reflux but it turns out to be quite common & I guess we just called it something else years ago. I found this on the internet:
Definition
Does your baby seem to spit up a lot? Grab your burp cloth and join the group! Infant acid reflux, more accurately known as gastroesophageal reflux, is a common problem. In fact, more than half of all babies experience infant acid reflux during the first three months after birth, according to the National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse.
Although infant acid reflux is most likely after a feeding, it can happen anytime your baby coughs, cries or strains. And it's probably tougher on you than on your baby. Even when soaked in spit up, most babies who have infant acid reflux are healthy and content.
Infant acid reflux typically resolves on its own by ages 12 to 18 months. In the meantime, changes in feeding technique — such as smaller, more frequent feedings, changing position or interrupting feedings to burp — can help keep reflux under control. In a few cases, medication or other treatments may be recommended.
Only in rare cases do they develop breathing problems.
Thank you again for everyones concern and prayers.
Definition
Does your baby seem to spit up a lot? Grab your burp cloth and join the group! Infant acid reflux, more accurately known as gastroesophageal reflux, is a common problem. In fact, more than half of all babies experience infant acid reflux during the first three months after birth, according to the National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse.
Although infant acid reflux is most likely after a feeding, it can happen anytime your baby coughs, cries or strains. And it's probably tougher on you than on your baby. Even when soaked in spit up, most babies who have infant acid reflux are healthy and content.
Infant acid reflux typically resolves on its own by ages 12 to 18 months. In the meantime, changes in feeding technique — such as smaller, more frequent feedings, changing position or interrupting feedings to burp — can help keep reflux under control. In a few cases, medication or other treatments may be recommended.
Only in rare cases do they develop breathing problems.
Thank you again for everyones concern and prayers.
Santa Has Delegated!
MEMO FROM SANTA
I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to service the Southern United States on Christmas Eve.
Due to overwhelming current population of the earth, I I now serve only the northern United States.. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my brother in law,. Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "Gun Control is a Steady Hand."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a RC Cola and peanut patty (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and LaBonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliot and Petty."
5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves reply, "I her'd dat!"
6. Bubba's sleigh also has a bumper sticker that reads "My Other Car is a John Deere" .
7. The interior of Bubba's sleigh is the envy of the south. It boasts the latest in 8 track technology, a top o' the line fuzzbuster, an oversized chrome foot shaped gas pedal, fully carpeted dash, and Yosemite Sam floormats.
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
9. Bubba Claus refuses to wear the standard issue Santa cap because he says it makes him look like a girly-boy. He has been granted permission to wear a white Stetson with a red band and black cowboy boots instead.
Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus
I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to service the Southern United States on Christmas Eve.
Due to overwhelming current population of the earth, I I now serve only the northern United States.. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my brother in law,. Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "Gun Control is a Steady Hand."
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a RC Cola and peanut patty (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and LaBonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliot and Petty."
5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves reply, "I her'd dat!"
6. Bubba's sleigh also has a bumper sticker that reads "My Other Car is a John Deere" .
7. The interior of Bubba's sleigh is the envy of the south. It boasts the latest in 8 track technology, a top o' the line fuzzbuster, an oversized chrome foot shaped gas pedal, fully carpeted dash, and Yosemite Sam floormats.
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
9. Bubba Claus refuses to wear the standard issue Santa cap because he says it makes him look like a girly-boy. He has been granted permission to wear a white Stetson with a red band and black cowboy boots instead.
Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
For "TENNIS SHOES" Fans, et al.
PASSAGE TO ZARAHEMLA
I bought this movie from Deseret Book when I was in Utah earlier this month. And I watched it last night. YOU GOTTA SEE THIS MOVIE! It was SO well done! Kudos to Chris Heimerdinger for the excellent way he wrote, directed, and produced this movie. (He even had a part in it.) Loved the humor and the special effects, too.
Have you read Heimerdinger's "Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites" books? They're aimed at youth; they're full of adventure, and wonderful characterizations, and they help the reader to visualize so many cool parts of the Book of Mormon. Guess I'm a youth at heart, because I've been reading and re-reading them for the past decade or so! If you haven't read them, you'll still be able to thoroughly enjoy this DVD. Especially if you like stories about time shifts. And the Book of Mormon (altho it doesn't go too deeply into doctrines or history).
Cost is about $25. It would make a great Christmas gift for a tween, teen, or for your family. In fact, the DVD's menu allows you to choose the PG-13 "theatrical version," or a milder, less violent version. That's cool.
Hopefully, Chris Heimerdinger will make another "Tennis Shoes" movie soon! Can't wait! (Hey, that's the same feeling I had when I was reading his books!!!)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
THANK YOU !!!!!!
THE MIRACLE BABY!
In an excerpt from their blog, Jeff wrote:
Dr. Coulter ( who has been her neonatoligist since the beginning) said that "To be honest for you guys the first night I examined your little girl I was scared for you guys, but now I am totally excited. the progress she is making has made my whole week!" this was so awesome to hear the my little ninja is fighting and shocking everyone at the hospital.
With all the love that Jeff, Kendra, our families and friends could muster; we fasted and prayed. We prayed to our Heavenly Father to heal this beautiful spirit that she may enjoy a full life without permanent damage to any of her organs. Alayna's name was on the prayer rolls of Temples from Florida to Hawaii; from Utah to California. In our ward, Brother Bollinger asked everyone to fast and pray for little Alayna Yoho. I'm sure this was true for Jack & Janese's ward and Jeff and Kendra's ward as well. Hundreds of people prayed for her. With the best medical care possible and the healing hand of our Eternal Father in Heaven, Alayna began to heal.
In addition to some of the best doctors in the country, the hospital staff was pulling for the little Ninja! They made this sign for her.
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Eight days after being rushed away by ambulance, Alayna was healed enough to cheer her favorite football team to victory!
Yesterday, November 10th, Alayna came home!
How do you say words that are more powerfull than Thank You? How do you express how deeply gratefull you are to our Father in Heaven for healing this little girl? How can I show the love to all of our friends and family who fasted and prayed for Alayna? What a blessing it is to have a Son-in-Law like Jeff and the support his family gave. From Scott keeping us informed the night she was born to Janese's support in helping Katie get around while she was in Utah. I will always be eternaly grateful for your prayers and concern.
In an excerpt from their blog, Jeff wrote:
Dr. Coulter ( who has been her neonatoligist since the beginning) said that "To be honest for you guys the first night I examined your little girl I was scared for you guys, but now I am totally excited. the progress she is making has made my whole week!" this was so awesome to hear the my little ninja is fighting and shocking everyone at the hospital.
With all the love that Jeff, Kendra, our families and friends could muster; we fasted and prayed. We prayed to our Heavenly Father to heal this beautiful spirit that she may enjoy a full life without permanent damage to any of her organs. Alayna's name was on the prayer rolls of Temples from Florida to Hawaii; from Utah to California. In our ward, Brother Bollinger asked everyone to fast and pray for little Alayna Yoho. I'm sure this was true for Jack & Janese's ward and Jeff and Kendra's ward as well. Hundreds of people prayed for her. With the best medical care possible and the healing hand of our Eternal Father in Heaven, Alayna began to heal.
In addition to some of the best doctors in the country, the hospital staff was pulling for the little Ninja! They made this sign for her.
Eight days after being rushed away by ambulance, Alayna was healed enough to cheer her favorite football team to victory!
Yesterday, November 10th, Alayna came home!
How do you say words that are more powerfull than Thank You? How do you express how deeply gratefull you are to our Father in Heaven for healing this little girl? How can I show the love to all of our friends and family who fasted and prayed for Alayna? What a blessing it is to have a Son-in-Law like Jeff and the support his family gave. From Scott keeping us informed the night she was born to Janese's support in helping Katie get around while she was in Utah. I will always be eternaly grateful for your prayers and concern.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Why Can't I Win Sometimes!
Husband of the year awards
An honorable mention for:
An honorable mention for:
The United Kingdom
...followed closely by
The United States of America
and then...
Poland
but 3rd Place must go to...
Greece
it was very very close but the runner up prize was awarded to...
Serbia
but the winner of the husband/partner of the year... is
Ireland
Ya gotta love the Irish. The Irish are true romantics, look, he's even holding her hand.
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